I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”



i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer


if you stare at me in public my self esteem will drop 100%

Eat chocolate spread and watch films with me on the sofa.

What pisses me off most about HM Revenue and Customs is that if I pay too little tax they’ll track me down and I’ll be in trouble, but if I pay too much they couldn’t care less and make it really difficult for me to claim it back.

distressed • overjoyed